


Dear Dirty London In The Pouring Rain

by shessocold



Series: Winter/Spring '76 [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 1976, Abusive Parents, Adventure & Romance, Bath Sex, Bathing/Washing, Blow Jobs, Boys Being Boys, Dirty Talk, Drunkenness, First Dates, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Grimmauld Place, Happy Sex, Kissing, Leaky Cauldron, Light Angst, M/M, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Mentions The Clash, Muggle London, Oral Sex, Punk, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room, Smut, Teasing, Underage Drinking, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-24 01:52:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13203201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shessocold/pseuds/shessocold
Summary: Sirius and Remus go to a punk gig.





	1. Chapter 1

Several thoughts were swimming through Remus' mind as he waited for Sirius.

The first, and more pressing, was a creeping fear that he had dressed completely inappropriately for the occasion. _It's a punk show,_ Sirius had told him, but what did Remus know about punk concerts? Or even – honestly – about Muggle fashion in general? His mum still fancied herself an authority on all things Muggle, but she wasn't much help on that front (she had offered to iron “a nice shirt” for him), so he had tried reaching out to his Muggle cousins, but – seeing as they were from a small village in Wales, not to mention younger than he was – he had to admit that he did not completely trust their rather alarming take on the latest London trends. 

_I really hope Sirius isn't actually expecting me to stick a safety pin through my cheek,_ he thought, not for the first time, as he stole another glance at the glossy black door of number twelve, Grimmauld Place – speaking of which. He had been waiting in the small square for close to half an hour, now, and he wasn't any closer to wrapping his mind around the fact that Sirius' family – according to Sirius, so deeply anti-Muggle that it wasn't a good idea for Remus to meet them even briefly, their motto _'Toujours pur'_ – should choose to reside in such a resolutely non-magic neighbourhood. 

_Surely Sirius isn't ashamed of_ me _, is he?_ he thought, the unpleasant possibility having just occured to him. _He would never,_ he told himself, rubbing his scarred wrist absent-mindedly, _and it's not like they would know I'm a werewolf if he didn't tell them. Come to think of it, they wouldn't even know I'm half-blood if he didn't tell them, or does he think I would just go 'Good evening, Mrs Black, splendid to meet you, lovely house, and by the way my mum used to work in an insurance office and I rather hope that I'll get to snog your son tonight...'_

Here he trailed off, because even in his thoughts he didn't feel quite ready to admit that the reason he had gotten so worked up about coming to London to go see The Clash with Sirius was that – because of certain subtle signals that in fairness could mostly, though not completely, be put down to Sirius' exuberant approach to life in general and to close friendship in particular – he was convinced there was a chance Sirius had meant the invitation as a _date_. A possibility that had kept him elated for weeks, and that was now compounding his sudden irritation at being so rudely kept waiting outside and, there was no other word for it, _forbidden_ from meeting Sirius' parents. 

An old man who was sitting on a bench nearby and reading a newspaper looked up at Remus with mild curiosity, and Remus realized that he must have been muttering under his breath. He blushed. Sirius was now – he checked his watch – almost forty minutes late, and Remus was starting to feel genuinely angry towards him. _How can he be so inconsiderate? He knows this trip is my bloody birthday gift – is he planning on just leaving me standing here forever? And it's even starting to rain, great, perfect, excellent..._

The door to number twelve banged open, the sudden noise enough to almost make Remus jump. The old man with the newspaper didn't bat an eye. Sirius, very red in the face, marched out of his parents' front door and onto the stone steps in front of the house, where he stood panting. 

“You are not going anywhere!” came a shout from inside the house, and a second later a woman who looked so much like Sirius that she could only be his mother stepped outside and grabbed him by his arm. Sirius wheeled around, his wand at the ready. His mother was almost as tall as he was, and Remus had never seen anyone look so furious. “Go back inside, you worthless degenerate, or so help me.” 

Sirius, who had still not managed to free himself from her grip, laughed. 

“And what if I don't, Mother? Going to hex me, are you?” 

Mrs Black slapped him. 

“You're an abomination and a disgrace to the name of Black,” she said coldly, looking at Sirius like she was just seeing him for the first time. “And you are no son of mine.” 

“If only,” sneered Sirius, his hand pressed to the side of his face where she had hit him. “Goodbye, Mother.” 

Mrs Black didn't say anything. She let go of Sirius' arm. After a few seconds of silence, her handsome face as impassive as if it had been carved out of stone, she spat at the ground before her son's feet, turned her back to him and went back inside. Remus heard the door bolt shut. The newspaper bloke, amazingly enough, still appeared not to have noticed anything of what had been happening only a few feet from him. It was starting to rain in earnest. 

Sirius sniffed once. 

“Oh, hey, Moony!” he cried abruptly, his face cracking into a grin. “Didn't see you there! Sorry I'm late, let's go.” 

** 

Sirius' pertinaciously cheerful demeanour seemed to indicate that they were not to discuss the scene that had taken place on the front steps of his house, so Remus avoided voicing any of his numerous concerns. Without speaking, and completely drenched by the time a couple of minutes had gone by, they hurried to the nearest underground station, where Sirius – demonstranting a remarkable familiarity with Muggle money – bought both of their tickets. 

_He's wearing jeans too,_ thought Remus with relief, studying Sirius' attire while Sirius was busy lighting himself a cigarette as they waited on the platform, _and he doesn't have any safety pins sticking out of anywhere – I_ knew _Karen was making stuff up._

“Nice jacket,” he said, because Sirius had caught him staring. “Is it new?” 

“Yeah,” said Sirius, looking rather pleased. “Do you want a smoke?” 

“No, thanks,” said Remus, who had never tried smoking before and didn't quite fancy making a fool of himself there on the busy underground platform. “Do I look OK for the place where we're going?” 

Sirius looked at him keenly. 

“I think so,” he said finally, blowing out some smoke. “To tell you the truth, I've never been to a real punk show either. But I reckon we'll fit right in. Although we should probably have done something to our hair, come to think of it.” 

“Like what?” said Remus, alarmed. 

“Well, no, you can't do much to yours,” said Sirius, fairly, considering Remus' mop of curls. “But I'm afraid mine is a bit long for this crowd.” 

“That's their problem,” muttered Remus, who liked Sirius' hair very much. “You look fine.” 

Sirius grinned. 

“Not like I can fix it at this point," he said, flicking the butt of his cigarette towards the tracks. A girl standing nearby was looking at him like she was very much in agreement with Remus' assessment of Sirius' physical appearance. “So it'll have to do. Look, here comes our train. Let's go.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've been paying attention to my main fic naming theme (and I am a bit concerned for you if you have, but also very flattered), you can already guess which infamous 1976 The Clash show Sirius and Remus are going to attend.


	2. Chapter 2

“Look, I'm going to the bathroom. See you in a bit, OK?”

Sirius nodded, a big stupid grin on his face. He was drunk and had started getting handsy – a development Remus would generally have welcomed and encouraged, if not for the fact that the people around them didn't look like they would be particularly approving of two blokes hitting it off with each other. 

“D'you want me to get you another drink for when you come back?” shouted Sirius, his breath hot against the side of Remus' face. He looked like at some point he had slopped quite a bit of beer down the front of his t-shirt, although his current glass was full enough. 

“No, thanks,” shouted Remus, whose resolution to stay sober enough to prevent them both from getting beaten to a pulp was made much easier by the fact that he genuinely did not enjoy the taste of Muggle beverages. “Just stay here.” 

Sirius nodded again – a lustful glint in his pretty eyes as he held Remus' gaze – and Remus set off, his mind racing. Was it just the alcohol's fault if Sirius was acting like that? Had he finally realized that he only needed say the word if he fancied taking Remus to bed, was it merely the prospect of an easy lay? Remus found that he didn't care very much, as long as he got to fool around with Sirius and they could stay friends afterwards. 

_I should just ask him to follow me somewhere else,_ he thought, leaning against a wall with his eyes firmly shut, his whole body thrumming in time with the song that was being played. He had seldom felt this horny before, and he didn't trust himself to beheave sensibly around Sirius. _Fuck the concert, I just want to go somewhere private and stick my tongue in his fucking mouth and stick my hand down his fucking pants. Fucking Sirius, he'll be the death of me._

** 

By the time Remus finally managed to get enough of a hold on himself that he felt confident he could exist in close proximity to Sirius without doing anything stupid, Sirius had disappeared completely. 

_Right,_ thought Remus ten unproductive minutes later, as he surveyed the jumping crowd, his sweat-soaked jumper clutched awkwardly in his left hand. Most people were wearing the exact same leather jacket that Sirius had, which didn't make trying to find him any easier. _There goes the fucking evening._

“Nice cuts!” shouted a girl with a great mass of curls, grinning broadly at Remus. It took Remus – who very rarely went out in public wearing short sleeves – a few seconds to undestand that she was talking about the scarring on his arms. Her own forearms were covered in a mess of bloody scratches and what looked remarkably like bite marks. 

“You too!” he answered, having noticed the broken bottle in her hand and deciding the it would be best not to contradict her. “Did you, er, do all that by yourself?” 

“Oh, no, no!” said she, with a cackle. “It was mostly Shane – come, I'll introduce you.” 

Remus was about to object, but the girl seized him by the hand and led him to a marginally quieter spot at the back of the room where – to his surprise – Sirius himself stood laughing with a bloke who had the biggest ears Remus had ever seen and a great deal of blood caked on the side of his face. 

“Moony!” shouted Sirius, delighted. The other boy turned around, swaying slightly on the spot, and he beamed at Remus and the girl. He had appalling teeth and seemed nice enough, bloodstains notwithstanding. 

“This is Shane,” said the girl, as Remus and Shane shook hands. “And this is...” 

“Remus,” said Remus. 

“Séamus?” said Shane. 

“Remus,” repeated Remus, slower and louder. 

“Jus' call him Moony,” interjected Sirius, beer once again slopping out of his glass as he leaned in urgently. “Nobody calls him Remus anyway.” 

“Are you two friends?” asked the girl. 

“'Course we are,” said Sirius, throwing his arm around Remus' shoulders. “He's my best friend in the whole world – well, he and James, and I s'pose you could count Peter into...” 

“So you also know people with normal names, _Sirius_. That's good to know,” said the girl, chuckling. “I'm Jane, by the way,” she added, for Remus' benefit. 

“There's nothing wrong with my-” started Sirius indignantly, but Remus elbowed him sharply in the ribs. Jane was still holding the broken bottle. Sirius fell silent. There was a brief pause in the music, and then the band started a new song. The crowd went mad. 

“Oh, I love this one!” shouted Jane excitedly. “Let's go and dance!” 

“You go ahead!” said Remus, who felt strongly that he already had all the scarring he could possibly need. “We're getting something else to drink! See you later!” 

** 

“Why did we have to leave?” muttered Sirius, as Remus propped him against a wall and put his jumper back on. “I was having fun!” 

“Yeah, and I didn't fancy the idea of you getting glassed in the face by that girl Jane.” 

“They were nice!” 

“Oh, no doubt. Bonkers, though. C'mon, I'll get you home,” said Remus, who had by this point realized that Sirius was so pissed that it wouldn't be fair to try anything with him and regretted the circumstance deeply. “Maybe we can go someplace a bit less insane tomorrow?” 

“I can't go home,” said Sirius, very quietly. 

“What do you mean? You need to go to bed, you can barely walk.” 

“I can't,” repeated Sirius. “They won't let me in.” 

“Oh. So was your mother – did she actually mean what she said?” 

“Yeah, I reckon she did.” 

Remus didn't know how to respond to that. 

“I'm so sorry,” he said eventually, because it was true. “Do you know what you are going to do?” 

Sirius shook his head forcefully, his eyes closed. He suddenly looked very young and very lost. 

“I have no idea. I can't think about it now. I can't go back there, though. I will never go back there.” 

“Well, come back to my room for tonight,” said Remus. “I'm staying at the Leaky Cauldron. We'll think about it tomorrow, OK?” 

Sirius didn't say or do anything for so long that Remus tought he had fallen asleep standing up. 

“OK,” he said eventually, his voice hoarse. “I'm so lucky to have you, Moony. I love you, do you know that? I really do.” 

“And I you, mate,” said Remus, hoisting Sirius' arm over his shoulders once more. “C'mon, let's get you to a bed.” 

** 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The real gig took place on October, 23rd 1976 -- but I needed this to be set during a (brief) school holiday, so let's make it sometime around Easter '76, and the trip to London can be a gift for Remus' birthday. It works better with the timeline of Sirius telling Harry he ran away from home when he was "about sixteen", anyway, since he turned seventeen (and "got a place of [his] own") barely ten days after the real concert.
> 
> I'm very fond of Shane MacGowan.
> 
> Patti Smith was also there, and she danced onstage during "I'm So Bored With The USA", but Remus doesn't know who she is, so he missed out. What a shame.


	3. Chapter 3

“ _... and it's no, nay, never! No, nay, never, no more! Will I play the wild rover? No never, no more!_ ”

“Shut up, Sirius, you'll wake everybody up – honestly, cut it out!” said Remus, trying to sound stern, but he so preferred this rambunctious, singing Sirius to the strange, quiet Sirius of a few minutes earlier that his heart wasn't really in it. “It's very late.” 

Sirius laughed, his face pressed against Remus' neck. 

“Do we really have to go to sleep?” he asked, slurring his words slightly. “We could find another place – I want to sing, and I really would like to dance with you, Moony, wouldn't you like that?” 

“I would,” said Remus, smiling affectionately into Sirius' hair. “But you're pissed and I know how you get when you drink, mate, and I don't have the energy to keep up with you when you're acting like an idiot and most likely getting us into all sorts of trouble.” 

Sirius immediately extricated himself from their embrace. 

“I am not acting like an idiot!” he said, in a comically outraged tone. “And I'm definitely not d–” 

Sirius had tripped and fallen on his backside right into a sizeable puddle by the side of the road, where he was now sitting with a bewildered expression on his handsome face. It took Remus all of his self-control not to start laughing. 

“All right,” he said, offering Sirius a hand. “You're not drunk, it just so happens that you'd rather be sitting on your arse in three inches of very suspicious water than lying in a nice warm bed back at the Leaky Cauldron. That's definitely your choice, and I respect it. Alas, it turns out that your choice involves making a spectacular prat of yourself, so–” 

“Oh, do sod off,” interrupted Sirius, pulling himself to his feet, but he was grinning. Water dripped merrily from the bottom of his jeans when he stood up. “All right, all right, let's call it a night.” 

** 

“Oi, boys, where do you think you are going?” 

“Er – I have a room,” said Remus, freezing in the middle of the pub. “Remus Lupin, room 11. You – you gave me a key to the front door because I said I was going to be late.” 

“So I did,” said Tom, the innkeeper, emerging from the shadows behind the bar. “But what about your friend here? Sneaking him in, are you?” 

“Oh,” said Remus, stupidly. “No, I was just – he doesn't have anywhere to go, I just thought – ” 

“He needs to pay for a room if he wants to stay.” 

“Right. I don't – I don't think I have quite enough – Sirius, do you have any gold on you?” 

“I don't,” said Sirius, in a supremely unhelpful tone. “Just a bit of Muggle change.” 

The innkeeper was staring at them with a look on his face that made it very clear he was quickly running out of patience. 

“Look,” said Remus, now starting to feel a bit panicky. “What if I write to my father first thing in the morning and have him send me the gold by return owl?” 

“I am not in the habit of letting people occupy my rooms on credit," said Tom, raising his eyebrows. “Say, aren't you Orion Black's son?” he then added, slightly less curtly, having taken a better look at Sirius. “I know your father.” 

“I am not. You are mistaken,” said Sirius, with what to Remus sounded like a completely unnecessary hostile tone, his lip curling slightly. He now looked so much like his mother that Remus frankly saw no point in his attempt to deny his parentage. “Moony, don't worry about me. I'll see you in the morning.” 

“Wait,” said Tom, a rough hand on Sirius' shoulder. “I'm not sending a boy your age back out in the streets at this hour of night, no matter how stupid your plan for sneaking into my pub might be. Just for this once, and provided you don't mind sharing with your friend here, you can stay at no cost – say, have you been drinking?” he added gruffly, studying Sirius' rather greenish face. “You look like you're five minutes away from vomiting all over my floor. I encourage you not to do that, if you don't want me to reconsider my decision. Now go, quick, and mind you don't disturb the other patrons while you're in the corridor.” 

** 

“Are you feeling all right? Tom was right, you look like you're about to be sick. Maybe you should have some water? A piece of toast?” 

“I'm fine,” said Sirius, coolly. Remus didn't think it particularly fair that Sirius should be acting in this haughty manner towards him, who had done absolutely nothing wrong, but he thought better than telling it to Sirius. 

“Suit yourself,” he said, a touch less warmly than he would normally have done. “You better get out of those jeans quickly, though, or you'll catch a cold. Goodnight.” 

“Look, Moony, I'm sorry,” said Sirius, in a small voice, after a couple of minutes. “I'm being horrible to you tonight, and you're such a good mate. It's just that...” 

Remus was relieved to hear him trail off, because he had the distinct impression that Sirius had been about to start telling him about whatever had happened with his mother that had led to the scene he had witnessed on their front steps – and Remus, fond as he was of Sirius, felt remarkably ill-equipped for discussing an event of that magnitude. _Maybe he could talk to Mum,_ he thought, vaguely. _Mum is good with feelings and stuff. Or would it be tactless, since it's his mum he's been fighting with?_

“... anyway, things are a bit complicated for me at the moment,” said Sirius. “I don't want to bore you with the details. It's just that I'm having a wonderful time with you, I really am, it's been a glorious night, and then all of a sudden I keep thinking about... and I'm afraid you'll think it's your fault when I start acting weird...” 

He fell silent again. 

“It's OK,” said Remus, earnestly. “We don't need to talk about any of this if you don't feel like it. I understand perfectly. And I'm having a great time too.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, of course. A night alone with you? I couldn't ask for anything better.” 

Sirius smiled slightly. 

“When you say that I act stupid when I drink...” he said, in a studiously casual tone, after a brief pause. “... are you talking about the fact that I get, well, affectionate with you?” 

“So you _do_ realize you're doing it!” 

Sirius grinned. 

“To my defense, you don't generally look like you mind.” 

“Of course I don't mind, are you mental? If anything, I'm afraid I'd be too into it to spot potential trouble. You know how Muggles can be when it comes to blokes being, you know, together.” 

“Oh,” said Sirius. “I had never thought about that.” 

“I know you hadn't,” said Remus, affectionatedly. “That's why I had to keep you at bay.” 

“But now we're alone, right?” 

“We are, but you're just as drunk as you were ten minutes ago.” 

“What does that matter?” 

“I don't want to take, you know, advantage of you,” said Remus, regretting the words as soon as he had said them. “You're not in your right mind, what if we do... stuff... now, and then you wake up tomorrow and you hate me forever? How would we ever explain the irreparable rift between us to James? It would break his heart.” he added, trying to make a joke out of it. 

“I guarantee I would never hate you,” said Sirius, sulking. “And if anything, sober Sirius would be even more eager, because drunken Sirius feels like there's a very good possibility he'll be out cold the moment his head touches the pillow, so he has to fight against that on top of trying to woo you. You're being extremely unfair to poor drunken Sirius.” 

Remus laughed. 

“Just for my information, what would me being fair to poor drunken Sirius involve?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teenagers are terrible under many, many aspects.


	4. Chapter 4

“Well,” said Sirius slowly, as he unzipped his soaked jeans. “You could give me a kiss. A little kiss wouldn't hurt anybody, would it?”

“No,” agreed Remus, looking away from Sirius' crotch. “I don't think it would. Why are you getting undressed, though?” 

“To tell you the truth,” said Sirius, a grin breaking through his seductive demeanour, “it's mainly because having these wet clothes on is getting really unpleasant. But by all means, feel free to see it as an attempt to get past the barriers of your unwavering chivarly.” 

Remus grinned back. 

“Fair enough, I suppose.” 

“So, does that mean that I can have my kiss?” asked Sirius, who had lowered his jeans and was now sitting on the edge of the bed to take off his shoes. Remus saw that he was wearing Snitch patterned underwear. 

“Yeah, all right. But nothing more than that, OK? Promise.” 

“I promise,” said Sirius, beaming at Remus. He took off his jacket ( _Surely you don't expect me to sleep in my leather jacket, Moony, do you?_ ) and then he made a great show of examining his beer-stained t-shirt. 

“You smell like a brewery, yes,” said Remus, who knew perfectly well where the whole thing was heading and whose mouth's corners were twitching against his own better judgement. “Take that off, you can have one of mine if it fits you.” 

“No thanks, I'm quite comfortable like this,” said Sirius, now shirtless, patting the mattress. “Come here.” 

Remus sighed. 

“I still don't know if it's a good idea,” he said, as he joined Sirius on the bed. “But you always end up getting your way, don't you?” 

“But you want it too, right?” 

“I want it too much,” said Remus, his erection uncomfortable against the unyelding fabric of his jeans. “And you know that all too well, you horrible little tease.” 

Sirius smiled, looking very pleased with himself. 

“Don't be mean,” he cautioned, his lips now hot against the skin of Remus' cheek. “Or I shall have to show you what I would do if I really meant to tease you.” 

“Don't you dare,” said Remus, tangling his fingers in Sirius' silky hair. Sirius moaned. Remus had to close his eyes briefly. Sirius seized him and pulled them both down, so that they were now lying on the bed, facing each other, barely a couple of inches apart. He was smirking. 

“The first thing I'm doing tomorrow morning,” he said, staring into Remus's eyes, his pupils wider than Remus had ever seen them. “Is sucking you off.” 

And with that, as Remus' hips jerked forward involuntarily, Sirius pressed his lips against Remus'. 

It was bliss. Sirius' mouth on Remus' – his tongue inside Remus' mouth – the warmth of his beautiful body against Remus' – the way their legs tangled together – 

With enormous difficulty, his whole being screaming at him to keep going, Remus pulled away from the kiss. 

“OK, that's quite enough,” he said, his voice croaky. “That got out of hand fast...” 

Sirius frowned at him, his parted lips red and slightly swollen. Remus looked down and saw – proudly tenting out the Snitch patterned boxer shorts – the erection he had felt pressed against his own a few seconds earlier. He swallowed. The whole thing was extremely tempting. 

“Aw, c'mon,” he said, in response to Sirius' unspoken protest. “We agreed! This is completely out of bounds. We can't.” 

“You know,” said Sirius, in a clear voice, “I'm not _that_ drunk.” 

Remus rolled his eyes. 

“I'm taking a bath,” he announced, getting up from the bed. “And then we're going to go to sleep – yes, Sirius, we are, even if I have to Stun you to make you behave.” 

Sirius laughed. 

“OK,” he conceded, getting up as well. Remus saw a most tantalizing wet spot on the front of his underwear. “But I want to watch.” 

“You want to do what?” 

“Watch you in the bathtub,” said Sirius brightly. “And if you don't let me, I'll just stay here and wank off to memories of you from all the other times I saw you naked. There's nothing you can do about that.” 

Remus put a hand over his eyes. 

“You know what, you're really hard to protect from yourself,” he said - even though, privately, he thought that Sirius had a point. 

Sirius grinned. Remus could tell that he was perfectly aware of the fact that he was about to relent. 

“Oh, all right,” he said. “You can watch. But I'm not touching you!” 

“Oh, no need to.” 

** 

“I love your legs.” 

Remus stared up at Sirius, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. 

“What do you mean you love my legs? They're _legs_ , there’s nothing noteworthy about them. Or is it code for something we shouldn't be discussing in the first place?” 

Sirius laughed until he had tears coming out of his beautiful eyes. 

“Moony, mate, you are _paranoid_ ,” he said once he had regained his composure. “I was just giving you a compliment. They're nice!” 

Remus lifted his left leg out of the water experimentally, as if wanting to check its supposed attractiveness for himself. 

“They're long and toned and you get all tan in the summer. I love them,” insisted Sirius, crouching to grab Remus' exposed ankle. “I love your arms, too. And your back – and the way you smile – and this _beautiful_ c–” 

“Down!” said Remus indignantly, batting Sirius' outstreched hand away from his erection. 

“Woof,” said Sirius, with a straight face. Remus laughed. 

“You're lucky you're so pretty, because you are _definitely_ the most annoying person I've ever met.” 

“Oh, I am pretty, am I?” 

“You know perfectly well that you are,” said Remus. “But if you want to act dumb, I will have to make you lie down on a bed and go over each and every inch of you, kissing every last little spot, and explaining all the reasons why you're completely irresistible as I go. See, two can play this game,” he added, grinning at Sirius' rather stunned expression. “Now, will you let me wash in peace?” 

“No,” said Sirius, making a remarkably quick recovery. He got up to his feet and he yanked his undewear down, so that his beautifully erect cock was now bobbing slightly in the misty bathroom air. Remus gaped at him. Sirius smiled wickedly, his fingers wrapped around his erection. “You said _you_ weren't going to touch me.” 

Remus swallowed. 

“That sounds like a rather arbitrary distinction,” he said, mesmerized by the sight of Sirius' stroking his own cock. “You know what the whole point was...” 

“Yeah,” said Sirius, his gaze hungry upon Remus' naked form, “and I don't care. I promise I really want this, Moony, I've wanted it for years – I want it more than I could tell you.” 

_Oh, to hell with this,_ thought Remus, completely overwhelmed by the intensity of the situation, and he sat up in the tub. 

“C'mere,” he ordered, in a tone that made Sirius' cock twitch. Sirius obliged, his thighs pressed against the porcelain edge of the tub. “Are you really sure about this?” 

Sirius nodded, desire painted all over his handsome face. 

“All right, then,” said Remus, with a smile, and he took Sirius' cock into his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suspect the only person with more of an erotic fixation on bathing than me was Prince (RIP Prince). Thanks for bearing with me.
> 
> (Is this a bit murky, consent-wise? Uhm, probably. I don't think I would condone acting like this in real life, as a general rule, even if frankly I would be ok if it was in the context of an established -- sexual -- relationship) (but this is a story, and they’re young and dumb and they both really want it, so...)


	5. Chapter 5

“OK, my turn now,” said Sirius a few minutes later, his voice a bit funny. “But you'll have to give me a minute – Merlin's beard, Moony, that was _brilliant_ – my legs are shaking.”

Remus smiled. 

“Go to bed, I'll join you in a second. And you can, er, pay me back tomorrow, if you still feel like it.” 

Sirius rolled his eyes. 

“Look,” he said, taking Remus' wand from atop the pile of his clothes, and he turned a bar of soap into an axolotl. “Is non verbal Transfiguration enough to convince you that I bloody well know what I'm doing?” 

“Sirius! The Trace!” 

“They won't know it wasn't Tom or one of the other patrons, relax.” 

Sirius was right, of course. Remus knew all too well that he was often reckless, but (almost) never foolish. He wouldn't have risked getting expelled just to prove a point – probably. 

“How come you are this keen on me all of a sudden, anyway, if it's true that you've fancied me for years?” 

Sirius lifted one eyebrow. 

“I've never had you all for myself like this, have I? That was sort of the point of asking you to come see me in London. To be alone with you and see if we could finally manage to get things started.” 

“Get things started?” 

“Yeah, you know, like – like try and see if we want to be together.” 

“Together,” repeated Remus, in frank amazement, staring at Sirius' axolotl. 

“Yeah, OK, nevermind,” said Sirius quickly. “It was just an idea. I knew you wouldn't want to.” 

“Are you out of your mind, of course I want to.” 

“You do?” 

“Yeah, obviously – I'm just – I was under the impression that you just wanted, you know – sex.” 

“Well, Moony, let me make this perfectly clear: I _also_ want sex. As much sex as we can reasonably have, and then a bit more, just to be sure.” 

Remus grinned, still looking away from Sirius. 

“But also all the other stuff, you know,” went on Sirius, now also staring resolutely at the scampering axolotl. “The sweet stuff. Holding hands, the works. Being with you. I like you a lot, Remus, I really do.” 

Remus looked up, surprised. Sirius hardly ever called him by his name. He smiled. 

“And I you, Sirius. More than any other person I've ever met.” 

** 

“Did I do OK?” 

Remus grinned. 

“What kind of question is that? Couldn't you tell?” 

“Yeah, well, I want to hear you say it,” said Sirius, lifting his head from Remus' chest. He looked so beatiful that the idea that just a few minutes earlier he had had Remus' cock in his mouth was almost too much for Remus' mind to accept. “C'mon, humour me.” 

“All right, then. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. No, I take it back, the best thing that ever happened to me was meeting you. But this is a close second. Are you happy now?” 

Sirius beamed. 

“Very. And I'm _really_ glad I'm not the only one here who gets secretly sappy.” 

“ _Secretly_ being the operative word, right?” 

“Oh, yes, definitely.” 

“Promise you won't tell James.” 

“Merlin's beard, no,” said Sirius. “We would never live it down if he knew we get all sentimental like this.” 

“Maybe if he ever manages to get with Evans he'll understand, but until then – I'm fine with him knowing we're together, mind – well, if you are, obvously.” 

“Yeah, we're telling him, of course. I was actually thinking I could make, I don't know, some sort of banner for the common room – _I SNATCHED THE HOTTEST BLOKE IN THE YEAR – SUCK IT, LOSERS_ – something like that, I'm still working on the exact wording.” 

Remus laughed. 

“Well, that would be very confusing for people.” 

“Huh?” 

“Let’s see, for one they would wonder why you're advertising the fact that you, er, snatched yourself. Most likely wondering if it's some sort of euphemism, too.” 

** 

“I think I will ask James if I can stay at his place over the summer.” 

“... what? Oh. Oh, right. Yes, it sounds like a good idea.” 

“They have spare rooms, his parents like me, I reckon they would say yes. Then I'll stay at school for Christmas and Easter and get a job the moment we're out of school.” 

Sirius' voice was steady enough, but he had his back turned to Remus. Remus, his palms clammy all of a sudden, wondered if Sirius was expecting him to offer his hospitality instead. He thought of his parents' cramped cottage, of the cellar where he transformed during the summer. He didn't particularly like the idea, but what else could he do? 

“You could, you know – come stay at mine,” he began, tentatively. “I'm sure my parents would be OK with it.” 

Sirius shook his head. 

“No, no. Thank you. I really think it's better if I stay at James'. I – I want us to start things off the right way. I could never live off your parents while I try and learn how to be your, well, your boyfriend, I suppose. Does that make sense to you?” 

Remus tried to picture himself in Sirius' position. 

“Yes,” he said, truthfully. “But still. If you want to come visit, feel free. Anytime. _Come_ being the operative word, in this case.” 

Sirius laughed that beautiful bark-like laugh of his. 

“I'll take you at your word,” he threatened jokingly, finally turning to face Remus “You'll beg for me to leave you alone. _I have homework to do, Sirius, stop being irresistible in my close vicinity!_ ” 

“Yes, yes, that sounds _exactly_ like something I would say.” 

“I know you very well, you see, my darling Moony.” 

“Well,” said Remus, his hand on the small of Sirius' naked back. “I reckon in time you could get to know me even better if you tried – what do you say?” 

Sirius grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this the longest thing I've written so far? I think so.
> 
> (Also, is one of Sirius' lines almost directly plagiarized from the part of POA where he asks Harry if he wants to ditch the Dursleys and come live with him? I suspect it might be, but I can't be bothered to check. LET'S JUST CALL IT A GREAT SHOW OF CANON COMPLIANCE IF IT IS)

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr if you'd like to! https://killer-kelp.tumblr.com/


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